Copy of Raising Kids and Companies: My Take on Mom Guilt

Overcoming Working Mom Guilt: Balancing Business and Family

In this episode of the Quality of Life Podcast, host Erin Olson dives into the topic of working mom guilt. Erin shares her personal experiences juggling motherhood and entrepreneurship, from her early days helping her husband while bartending, to managing multiple businesses, including her soap and body care company, farrier business, and Hay Chix. She addresses the emotional challenges of being away from her child, offers Biblical insights on working outside the home, and provides practical advice on achieving focus both at work and at home. This episode aims to reassure parents that feeling guilty is common and manageable and emphasizes the importance of making every moment count with loved ones.

00:00 Welcome to the Quality of Life Podcast
00:34 Introducing the Topic: Working Mom Guilt
01:03 Personal Journey and Struggles
04:30 Coping with Mom Guilt
07:55 Biblical Perspective on Working Moms
12:29 Balancing Work and Home Life
14:11 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Thanks for listening! I'm glad you're here.

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See ya next week!
Erin

Transcript

Erin: 0:01

Hey guys, and welcome back to the quality of life podcast. I'm Erin Olson. And my goal is to get you from your business idea to big business. be sure to go right now and subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss out on any of our new episodes or our resources that we may send out. Last week, we talked all about why now might be the perfect time for you to start your new business. And I hope it inspired you to maybe take one step forward. This week, I'm going to switch it up even a little bit more. I know I talked a little bit about God more than normally last week, but I have this feeling that I believe that I am supposed to talk to you guys a lot more about my journey and where God fits in in my three businesses. So this week we are talking about something that I know affects so many of you. It has affected me too. And we are talking about working mom guilt. Sometimes called mommy guilt And I don't want to exclude any of the guys out there because I know that they have guilt when they have to return to work too But you know, I just gotta tell you I have struggled with this with all of my businesses When we first had our son, my husband was an entrepreneur and he and a business partner started a mechanic shop and they were working five to six days a week, you know, just to keep business rolling. And as a new mom, I was the one who got to stay home with our son and man, was it a blessing. It was really hard though because when you start a business not always do the funds just come pouring in so I had to help and I started bartending the opposite hours of when my husband worked and it was hard but knowing that my husband was home with our son really made things easier. So I would work on weekends and nights just to help and make some extra money for groceries and whatnot. And my mom had started this business called Sunrise River Collection and it was a handmade soap and body care, business. And so I started working with her during the day since I was home with our son. So I started working with her and the way things happened is I used to bring our son Devin to work and I used to bring him to her house and as time went on she eventually phased out of the business and I ended up taking over. So we actually opened a retail shop in White Bear Lake, Minnesota, which is this cute little town. And I used to bring my son to work with me a lot when he was not in preschool. And I will tell you the first time that I dropped our son off at preschool and as he clinged to my leg and Miss Rachel, his teacher, took a hold of him and hugged him as I walked away. Man, my heart just broke in a million pieces, and I don't know if you as a mom or a dad can relate to that, but I will tell you going to work with your child under the care of somebody else is one of the hardest things that I've ever done. So as time goes on, I think we get a little stronger. We build a little bit of a callus to that when the children are screaming as we drop them off at daycare or preschool and whatnot. But the guilt I don't think ever leaves. And, you know, I got better at it when I could bring them to work. I would, and when I couldn't, I just suffered through it, right. And did my best to do my job as best I could. Now, as time went on, I ended up starting another business, Which I alluded to about last week, Rebel Footworks, my farrier business. Now, that was a very physical business and I only worked during the day, so it was really easy for me to be able to go and, drop Devin off at daycare. But if I needed to, I could bring him with when he got a little bit older. And he learned a lot about how to do a horse's feet, how to be safe, and he became quite the little salesperson now as that business, phased out when I started, Hay Chix, we started doing a totally different type of business. And this business was where we would have to go to trade shows across the country just to get the word out about our products. And so that meant that for a few weeks we would be gone and I wouldn't see my husband or my child. And I will tell you when you are five States away and your husband calls because your kid misses you, it just breaks your heart. That is something that I'm going to talk about today. Mom, guilt, mommy, guilt, working mom, guilt, and guys, it is a real thing. and I'm going to try to help you cope with those feelings. and how to deal with them effectively and still be able to get your work done. Now, if you are a stay at home mom, you have one of the hardest jobs in the world. That and teachers, I swear. I don't know how you guys get your patience. Yes, I was a stay at home mom for a while, but holy crap, you guys, I admire you and woah, that was not my calling. Okay. But if you have chosen to work outside the home, I want to tell you that it's okay because I personally got a lot of flack for working outside the home, for being away from my child and my husband for sometimes weeks on end to be able to sell a product and grow a business. And I know how hard it is when people try to put their opinions on you. and how hard it is to fight through even when you're feeling like maybe you might not be doing the right thing. So, what exactly is mom guilt? Well, Mom guilt is defined by the internet as the overwhelming feeling that you are not doing enough as a parent or that the choices you make now as a parent like going to work during the day are going to screw your kids up in the long run. Now I'm just here to tell you mom guilt is something that has women, we put on ourselves. Other people help. They enable us to feel that way. But I will say that social media has really had a huge part in making this a huge problem nowadays, because you can go on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter, any of them and find a mom who is doing all the things And her family looks perfect. All the pictures are perfect. She has the bake sale nailed. She is in the PTA. She is the one mom that runs all the kids to soccer and hockey and all of the sports. And she always looks amazing. She never looks ragged and tired. And that person, I'm telling you, also has her own issues. And yes, those posts are probably very curated to make it look like she doesn't have To deal with the bad stuff like we do. You know those, those, Facebook vs. Reality or, Pinterest vs. Reality? That is what life is really like. You can try as much as you want to make it. to be as idealistic as possible and to look the part of being the perfect mom who has it all together and still somehow goes to work every day. That is not usually the reality. but it looks like the reality on the internet, it is so easy to get self talk starting to brew up that tells you that you're not doing a good enough job as a mom. Now, like I said, I don't want to disqualify the men from this, but I think that the social norms and, standards that are on men to be the one to bring home the bacon and to be the one to go out and work have really made it easier for a guy to leave. Kind of. I mean, it's still difficult When daddy has to go to work and the kids are so sad, it's gotta hurt a little bit. But I think it's eased a little bit more where you don't have other people telling you that maybe you should be home. Like women tend to do. I want to talk to you guys today a little bit about what the Bible says about working out of the home. Now, like I said, a lot of people believe that they are to be in the home and that is for them. This is for those of us who we know that God wants us to start something or He has made it so that we have to work outside of the home just to make ends meet. This is for you guys, the ones who are getting such little sleep. The ones who are getting up in the morning, making sure our kids are fed and off to school or off to daycare. And you know, the ones who get the phone call when the kids are sick and they have to be picked up. This is for you guys, because I know how exhausting and how just frustrating it can be and how you can make yourself feel really guilty. Well, in the Bible, I want to direct you guys to Luke 18, 29 through 30, and I'm going to read it off my board here. And he said to them, truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or children for the sake of the kingdom of God, who will not receive many times more in this time and the age to come eternal life. Okay, so what does that mean? Well, it can mean a lot to a lot of different people, and I am not a biblical scholar. I'm just telling you what I believe God and the spirit inside of me believes that this means. I believe that this means that if God put in you that you are to go to work or you are to start a business, that he put that in your heart because he's called you to it. And if he's called you to it, then you leaving behind Your spouse, your brothers, your children for the good of the kingdom of God, which is what I believe your, your calling to you do your business is that you will be rewarded for it. And I have some real world experience that God is going to redeem the time. for years, I prayed every day, God, please help me to make the right decisions. I don't want to be out of your will and I don't want to do what you don't want me to do. So if this business is not something I'm supposed to focus on, Help me to make the right decisions or to help me to know that this is what you want. Please be clear. And every day I would pray that prayer and every day I would go to work and I would get the feeling that I'm supposed to be there to help serve his people. And I believe that's what you're supposed to do too. So guys, I know for a fact, because I missed a lot of my child's growing up. in all of the businesses that I have grown. But I will tell you, he redeems the time. He has made it so that I was able to make up in the latter years what I missed in the former years. He has made it so that my son and I have a great relationship and I was able to make it to every one of his college rodeos, which is huge because he was not going to school close to home. The minimum amount of hours of a drive I'd have to make to go to his, his college rodeos were 10 to 13 hours and somewhere even farther than that away. But because I had worked so hard and built this business to where it was, I was able to leave it and to go and support my son. And we had some of the best times. So you've got to know that God is going to redeem the time. Another thing I want to draw your attention to is the Proverbs 31 woman. And if you haven't read Proverbs 31 as a woman, you should read it, but I'm going to warn you. Some of the things you might not want to hear, but I will tell you the woman who was revered and was held high as the ideal wife. She was revered for her ability to support her household. She actually worked out of the home. She not only made dinners and took care of her household, but she actually made a living. So I want you guys to know that It is biblical if you feel called to work outside the home. you gotta just let those feelings of guilt and shame go. Don't let what others think come into your mind at all. Because it is between you and God and your spouse if you have one, to know whether or not you are supposed to go to work, whether or not you are supposed to start this business. And I believe that he's going to tell you what you need to know and he's going to support you and your spouse will support you as well. I want to let you guys know one more quick thing. When everybody talks about balance, work life balance, that is usually imparted upon women as well, because we have a harder time separating the two. Our work life and our home life tend to kind of become married. So what I suggest you do is to realize that there is no such thing as balance. there is no such thing as time balance. there is such a thing as being balanced in focus. Okay, when you are at work, let go of all of the need to want to know what your kids are doing, your husband is doing, what you have to do, the grocery list, the everything. Let that go and focus on your job so that you can be efficient at what you're doing there. When you go home, I'm encouraging you to let go of all of the things that happened during the day at work so that you can be present for your spouse and your children. because if you can make every moment with your children and your spouse count, it is going to be the game changer because that time is so precious. My husband and I were just talking today about how we, 25 years ago, we went to a concert as one of our first dates. And we don't feel like we're like more than five years older. It's so weird. So that time is going to go so fast. So just be present for it. Don't numb yourself with Facebook, Instagram. Don't hide yourself in making the perfect meal. Have the family, make it together. Spend time together, eat dinner together, and enjoy each other's company, okay? Be a mom when you're at home and be a boss when you're at work. All right, guys. I really hope that this helped you today because I feel like there are so many people who feel guilt about wanting to start something new, about having a business of their own, or even just going to work every day when they have children at home. And guys, If God put it in you, he's going to support you and he's going to help you through this. Don't feel guilty because you are doing his work. Guys, if you know anybody else who might be struggling with this mom guilt or working mom guilt, please send this episode to them. And I just want to thank you for being here today and I will see you next week. Oh, please also subscribe, share, and hit that notification bell so that you can get All of the upcoming podcast episodes that I will be doing in the near future. I look forward to seeing you guys next week. Have a great one. And I hope this helps get you from your business idea to big business. See ya.